How to be the World's Second Strongest Lover

Hey, what can I say? The title is taken.

I did a Google search for the exact phrase "world's strongest lover" and my site was the only one to come up. It's February 25th, 2008. We'll see how long I can stay at the top.

I was thinking, though, that in following with the general openness idea, I should probably write a book about how to be strong lovers, seeing as how I claim to be an expert. So here goes:

• Use your imagination.

If you're not sure whether you're good with your imagination, there are some practices you can do.

You can and should read a novel or play (a work of imaginative literature) and then gossip about the story to a friend. Try and explain it in detail. Write a personal review of it, but the key is remembering details. Eventually what happens is a blending of the remembered details and newly self-generated ones that are consistent to the imagined universe.

This exercise is better for the imagination than watching a video recording of a performance, but in many instances that, too, can be great for one's imagination.

• Make your imagination into reality.

You can ask me how to do this, but like everything else I say, you can't take me at my word. I'll make up one answer for you and a different answer five minutes later.

Of course, being a master of the creating of reality in the world around you is pretty darn difficult, so don't expect miracles overnight.

• Find a subject to love, not an object.

This part needs some explaining, but the difference is primarily in how you value the thing that you love.

If it is an object, its value is pretty much only in so much as it relates to you. For instance, you can have a gold bar that is worth a lot, and many people love gold bars. You can also have a photograph that is worth a lot, but that is probably only valuable to you.

In both cases, the thing that is loved does not have feelings though it does have worth.

To love a subject means to become invested in the well-being of the loved one. This idea is likely the origin of the phrase, "If you love somebody, set him or her free."

So it does certainly seem that if one is loving a subject, one is loving a person that has feelings. Presumably any sentient being would work, so pets and animals definitely count.

But, it doesn't count as loving a subject just because that subject is a person. It is entirely possible to objectify a person and make him/her the object of love.

And, for those who aren't so fond of people, it is possible to love a subject that is not a sentient being. Some people love literature or history, or even chemistry. These can be seen as subjects, as in subjects to study, not objects to possess.

The point here is that the thing that is loved needs tender care and also a little room to grow.
 

And there you have it. Advice about how to love.

I guess I would also recommend pursuing the subject of love and living a life filled with love. Certainly there are plenty of great artistic works devoted to the idea.

And when your knowledge about love matches mine, then you can start putting to practice what you know. Strength does not come from studying; it comes from putting what you know to use.

Someday, you'll catch up to me...unless I'm lying. ;-)

- Bones